The Heroine from the Royal Sidewalk

The greatest specimen of the 80’s and early 90’s

I have a thing for 80’s and early 90’s flicks, actually. Forget the distracting big hair and the insane clashing of prints—not to mention the horrible shoulder pads and jeans that hugged all the wrong places—worn by actors during that time. I think this fondness may have started when I first watched The Breakfast Club when I was ten. And ten years later, it’s safe to say that I still love movies from these two decades the way I love the color Purple and my comfort pillow Leila and, well, romance. With that being said, I also will tell you right now that I am in love with John Hughes.

Uhuh. John Hughes who is the writer of classics (yes, they are) like Some Kind of Wonderful, Miracle on 34th Street, Pretty in Pink, and all those Home Alone movies. John Hughes who is the director of The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles and Weird Science. John Hughes who made famous those lines like ”Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, 1896) and ”I’d rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than alone for the right.” (Some Kind of Wonderful, 1987).

Yep. John Hughes who is the greatest specimen ever discovered during that time.

And let me tell you why.

More than just the relatable characters he has created and the scenes you will always want to keep going back on, indeed, his films were somewhat like 90-minute life lessons.

So here’s what you need to know about life, according to John Hughes:

1. Family vacations should be avoided at all costs. Your father will get lost and there’s a good chance someone might die.

2. There is always a Geek who thinks you’re gorgeous. You don’t have to like him back, but know that there is going to come a time when the Popular Guy fades into oblivion and the Geek finds himself locking down a small role in The Dark Knight.

3. You never really escape high school. Look around the room right now: I bet you can pick out a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. The guy in charge is probably an idiot.

4. Fake sick whenever you can.

5. If you fly from Chicago to New York in the winter, you’ll have more luck playing pickup sticks with your butt-cheeks than you will taking off on time. If you get delayed, make a friend. It’ll make the journey a little easier to handle.

6. Go to a party by yourself. You’ll have a better time.

7. Be nice to your crazy uncle. Though he may have a gambling problem, a dependancy issue and drive a really ugly car, he probably has more in common with you than you’d like to admit.

8. Get a dog. A big, slobbery dog. He’ll frighten the neighborhood buillies, help you talk to boys and maybe even save your life.

9. Go camping at least once a year. The experience will make you be a better person.

10. If ever you find yourself lost and alone, don’t panic. Everything will work out by Christmas.

I wasn’t born til the early nineties but my parents are, shall I say, movie enthusiasts. So every movie my mom and dad have loved, they have archived and shared with me. Thank goodness, really. Or I never would have known that although Harry Potter is awesome and all, Ferris Bueller is still the single most memorable movie character ever. Not very many people know that anymore. So I’m lucky that I know.

Well anyway. To you, John Hughes. Thank you. Because, indeed, everything I have learned about life, I have learned from you.